…never wide of the mark…
It’s the last week and I’m late with everything…. end of season review will be worth it though…
Watford will be looking for Luther to rescue them next year…
Not really.. Manager #8 in 5 years will probably be Mr Silva though I called Ranieri right after he was fired…. (Called as in predicted. I dont have his phone number).
Good luck everyone with the last round! We need a miracle if we don’t want JE crowned champion.
Results finalized for Round 26! Yes, that round that was 12 Rounds ago and the winner was……not me, so it’s unimportant.
The week has already started and it’s official! Chelski are officially the most annoying club in English football and Spurs the most disappointed.
Here are the picks for this week. It might not seem like it matters with relegation mostly set (Sunderland.Boro and probably Hull) and the Champions crowned… but in this little pick competition we need to sort out who finishes last for the season (it’s very close).
Today is Music Word Association day.
Bournemouth V Burnley
Both teams are safe and both teams are mid-table and the result has the potential to flip-flop their positions. Burnley have won away now so the monkey is of their back but I have to go with the home team.
Crystal Palace V Hull
I really want Hull to win. I really want Swansea to win. I really want Big Sam to get relegated and disappear from the sport. Unfortunately, Benteke will do what Milner couldn’t and put a penalty in the back of the net. Hull take one step closer to disappearing (they will not be a bounce team like Newcastle…this is the start of a fall into the abyss of … it will feel like Gravity’s Gone and they’re just floating.
Everton V Watford
The Toffee men have been rampant at home and Watford have been useless. I don’t see that changing… thank God we’re pretty much safe.
Man City V Leicester
Citeh score a lot and Leicester have started to look more like the team of last year. I don’t see anything goalless within a million miles of this game. I’m sure Citeh will look to consolidate their top 4 finish.
Middlesbrough V Southampton
Boro are down and Southampton have been disappointing recently so in a game where there is nothing to play for I’m sure the atmosphere will be bland and the game equally so. In meaningless games you have to give it to the home team.
Stoke V Arsenal
Arsenal know how to finish in the top 4 and that will happen and to make that happen. Every year they finish top four. Never champions and not always the bridesmaid… and now behind spuds. Arsene on the brink of leaving, Sanchez on the brink of leaving, Ozil happy making lots of money… Every fan is asking, “surely there is more than this?”
Sunderland V Swansea
Sunderland are down and Swansea are on the precipice…. for Sunderland the fans have been watching this pitiful team. The fans are moving on…and even their mom’s don’t like them and she likes everyone. In one last vain attempt to give hope for next year they will hold Swansea to a draw making the last week a relegation special.
Note: I made up the word association here to get this in for JE. Every time I hear this song it brings back good memories.
Tottenham V Man Utd
Trafford United are playing Ajax to get into the Champions League so this game will not be played with full effort or force. Spurs will want to end strong and prove that they ever had a chance of winning the league. Summing up Manchester United fans so far this year? Disappointed. This result will not help.
West Brom V Chelsea
West Brom will play defense and play for a draw because that’s what they are supposed to do. They won’t want to hand the title to Chelsea and will play 10 back (not including the keeper) and invite wave after wave of attack Of course it won’t hold and once you’ve set your stall out you can’t adjust … so it will either be 1-0 or a battering. I kind of expect Chelsea to score early and then it will be a game of patience for the fans watching two teams not wanting to attack.
West Ham V Liverpool
Another draw for the Reds leaving them hanging on a thread for a spot in Europe… certainly not the Mersey Paradise the fans were hoping for.
Bonus Mark Lanegan Material
This season has not been the revival season that scousers had hoped for… but better than the empty season West Ham have had in their mostly empty stadium leaving their fans with no expectations. Wasn’t the revival that Karen Brady was looking for either.
And of course for Chelski bonus Fred:
A single game this mid-week going back to Week 26 – so we will finally see who wins that week:
Southampton V Arsenal
Two early games going ahead of schedule for Week 37 – so we will finally see who takes an early lead this week:
Everton V Watford
West Brom V Chelsea
But first, last weeks results….
It was an interesting week as LJ went into the final game with a lead on the back of his knowledge that the Scousers can’t score on the Saints. Rather than being conservative and picking a Chelsea 3-0 victory,more or less assuring him victory, he went with 2-0 and let JCE and ME hop over him into First place and tied for first respectively.
JE also noted that Liverpool never scored on the Saints but then picked 1-0? Inexplicable. That’s almost as daft as letting Pogba go on a freebie and then paying record fees to get him… though there are allegedly a lot of questions being asked. But James Milner, you owe JE 4 points and Liverpool a more comfortable Champions League qualification.
Southampton V Arsenal
A must win for Arsenal to have a chance at Champions League will have them running with a little more energy than we’re used to. I don’t expect Southampton to really care that much about anything other than showcasing their talent for the off-season sell-off. Arsenal to win and put some pressure on the ‘pool and make James Milner feel worse about his penalty miss. Prediction 1-2 (though I think it will be 1-3)
Everton V Watford
I picked the Hornets to lose their last five games – Liverpool, Everton, Citeh, Chelski and Leicester (doing a late season bounce). Everton have been pitiful away from home but this is, unfortunately for the Hornets, at Goodison Park. Watford have been terrible home and away so this game looks like a sure fire demolition of Watford. This doesn’t fill me with joy because while Watford have been called safe.. 2 wins for Swansea, 2 wins for Hull and 1 win for Palace and a goal difference swing of 15 things could be a disastrous drop down a division. I know 15 sounds like a lot but a 4-0 at Everton, a 4-0 at City and all of a sudden we’re in trouble. Prediction: 3-1
West Brom V Chelsea
Chelsea have won the league but it’s been all too easy so I expect West Brom to pitch a tent in their own box and camp out for 96 minutes and absorb massive amounts of pressure.. sneaking out every now and then to catch Chelski getting lackadaisical. This is a sneaky draw and allows Chelsea fans to string Spuds along with a little hope for one more game. Prediction 1-1
This week’s post comes after West Ham took on their rivals and ended their season. Chelsea are too far ahead and the last few games are about fighting to stay out of the bottom three. This is much like our leaderboard with JE too far ahead to catch and the rest of us playing for the right not to be last (and it’s VERY close at the bottom – but ME and BE have been copying each other). The end of season summary will prove to be quite interesting.
Last week I won again! But unfortunately it was a very low scoring week and no gap was really closed. The winner this week had a meager 8 points! The average points for all is generally above 9!
The table below includes LJ but he didn’t make any picks that I added in (he did make 4) but it’s nice to see him last.
This week we’ve got all the picks in! Just kidding… JE is late and SuperComputer 4 has ended up in a little bit of a loop that might need debugging…. either that or turning off-and-on.
Arsenal V Man Utd
Arsenal need to win to have any hope of finishing in the top-4 (and will need the Hornets to help them out against Citeh later in the year. The Trafford boys might have an easier route to Champions League through Europa cup and could be fielding a second-string. If their neighbours in Manchester choke it up against Palace will Jose change and field a stronger team? A defeat here concedes a top-four finish.
I expect Citeh to win, Arsenal to scrap out a victory against a Rooney led United with Mr Danny Welbeck punching in a winner, and finally Celta Vigo to pull off an incredible upset midweek and make Jose look like a fool. Or that’s what LJ hopes, anyway.
Bournemouth V Stoke
It’s hard to know what to expect from teams no longer fighting for any real reason. Finishing ahead of Watford isn’t exactly a goal at the beginning of the season but it’s about all that’s left fighting for.
Burnley V West Brom
Burnley have a great record at Turf Moore and the Boing-Boings are trying to go against the grain and finish below Watford … but at some point a run of losing by lone goals and bad luck will come to an end (and the Hornets aren’t going to get 4 points from anywhere).
Chelsea V Middlesbrough
The Champions are playing against a team that has a remote chance of staying up. I don’t think a single bookie, single prognosticator, single fan (even in the North East), thinks that they have a chance. It would be nice for them to pick off the Champions and for the Hornets to finish the job in a couple of weeks. Not going to happen. Either of them.
Hull V Sunderland
Sunderland are down and Moyes should be fired. He put his team in the relegation zone from the first week. Compare this to Hull who have no right to stay up and brought in a manager (on a temporary basis!) who has done nothing made them win at home. Hull will probably win and make it impossible for Boro and force Swansea to get a result.
Leicester V Watford
Watford aren’t mathematically safe but are playing like they are. Leicester are safe (superior g.d) but are playing like they aren’t. Watford will enjoy sitting on 40 points for the rest of the year unless they catch Chelsea drunk after actually ensuring victory.
Liverpool V Southampton
Victory will see the Reds consolidating the most disappointing 3rd place ever. Not sure who or why anyone was expecting much more than that – it’s been a LONG time since Liverpool ruled the league.
Man City V Crystal Palace
Palace aren’t safe but are playing like they are. Man City are safe but playing like they shouldn’t be. This will change and Citeh will get three points.Jose knows Watford will hand Citeh 3 points at the end of the season as well and will focus on Celta Vigo – hope they (don’t) play along.
Swansea V Everton
Swansea have to win to keep up with Hull. They won’t.
West Ham V Tottenham
I think we all know what happened here (Spoiler Alert: I told you earlier). I always had a sneaky feeling that West Ham would screw things up for the Spuds. Maintaining that kind of winning streak is tough. Idiots.
Oh, in case you think I forgot the obligatory JE picture here it is:
The F.A. Cup got in the way of the real competition once again… and the week was filled with make-up fixtures to confuse things.
To make it easier I created a spreadsheet with all the remaining games on it even carry overs (green lines were picks last week and can be removed):
https://inoffthejumper.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/EPL-Remaining.xls
This week’s prediction waiting for JE and LJ (who hasn’t predicted a Liverpool Watford game which is disappointing):
Final PicksCrystal Palace V Burnley
Palace are winning and all credit will be given to Big Sam who rolled into town to help a team that wasn’t that bad to begin with. He grabbed a couple of wins, a couple of brown bags filled with cash, and with just flaunts his oversize ego. Burnley don’t win away and I’ve been burned trying to pick the turning point. There may be no turning point and they are just on a straight line to the most miserable away record for a non-relegated team of all time.
Everton V Chelsea
Everton have scored 29 goals in 8 and Chelsea have been on a bit of a wobble. I don’t see the Toffeemen scoring 3 or 4 goals but 2 seems reasonable. I don’t see Chelsea losing either and I don’t think they’re capable of 3 either. A score draw.
Man Utd V Swansea
Man Yoo will be better in the long run for big Z being out. They can play with more pace and energy and try and score goals…we saw that effective style against Citeh in the week when they scored 3 goals in a great game…. or not. Swansea have a defence that is magic and appears to do the impossible: be worse than Citeh’s so finally the team from near Manchester will win at home and put pressure on the Top 4
Middlesbrough V Man City
This week KMFE’s Chicago Bears were dumb. We thus have fears that Citeh could cap the week by dropping out of the Top 4. It will be close but they will pull it off.
Southampton V Hull
Hull are great at home and can win with even 10 men! Away? Not so much.
Stoke V West Ham
I always think of Harry Enfield when I watch Stoke and I wasn’t sure why until I did more research… obvious!
He’s by far their best player so hope he gets Loadsamoney!
Sunderland V Bournemouth
Too little too late but Sunderland will scrap a goal and grab a victory. I know in my head this won’t happen but I have to close the gap to JE and take some risks. Chances are Josh King scores just to hand the title to JE.
Tottenham V Arsenal
Remember these days (posted 2014)? Nor do Arsenal.
This past week Alexis faked an injury that was almost as fake as their title challenge… but who wore it best?
Watford V Liverpool
Watford crushed the Pool last year 3-0 but that was a strange game with a rubbish keeper. These days the Moosemen lose 2-0 in a half against 10 men. Going to be a tough day.
West Brom V Leicester
West Brom have been a top half team for a long time. Leicester have been a bottom dweller for a while. They are coming closer together and no-one that supports the Baggies wants that. A little more boing in their step and they should have a good shot (falling slightly short).
Well last week it looked good for ME until the last game when Arsenal put in a disappointing finish and beat a bad Boro team by the loan goal moving JE back into first. I don’t think there is much chance of catching JE anymore.
If recent weeks are a trend there’s definitely no way that BE is catching him. The real question is whether BE will do the remarkable feat of leading at Christmas and finishing last in May!
Happy Birthday BE. I tried to find a nice Arsenal shirt with the birthday year on it but I don’t think the shirts go that high so you’ll have to settle for a cake:
Lots of confusion on the fixtures this week and next week. There are make-up games from weeks 26 and 28 and then games from weeks 34. None of the weeks will be closed out meaning this week there will be no immediate winner. I’m listing all the games here so get your picks in. You can change any pick prior to the game.
Here you can download the remaining fixtures for easy reference. I’ve highlighted in green the games played.
Week 34 3 of10 Remaining Games
Are the Chelski vulnerable? Two losses in a few weeks would indicate that they could still slip up. They won’t.
Are we still watching now that it’s the boring boring EPL games?
Spuds at Chelsea
Citeh at Arsenal
The away day teams will win.
*This was written while very sleepy so sections may make no sense.
Everyone did fairly well last week and it finally saw BE moving to the top (from the bottom). Is this the end of the steep decline since the beginning of the year? Once again ME failed to copy the right results and ended up last… but at least his Spuds are still hot and in with a shot.
Waiting for….
Turns out that SuperComputer 4 has decided that this week it’s not going to participate until JE shows up.
At this point I think it’s fair to say that Chelsea have won the league and JE has won the picks league. It is possible that they could be overhauled but time is short and the gap is not small. So it is with disappointment that I make my picks this week in the style of the Hornets… just enough effort to be passable…. and a little bit more enthusiasm than shown by Arsenal.
Crystal Palace V Leicester
Palace have won a few games and separated from the bottom. I would give the nod to the foxes but this game straddles Champions League games and Shakespeare will be focusing on that challenge. It seems that the Foxes turned the corner and started to enjoy playing again just in time this season: “”Things won are done; joy’s soul lies in the doing.”
Everton V Burnley
Burnley do not win away. Everton have just won their thousandth straight at home with 3 or 4 goals. I’m no longer picking 1-1 as that strategy has miserably failed.
Man Utd V Chelsea
Chelsea don’t need to win. Manchester United should try to win (maybe they actually are?). I expect Benjamin Button to score a goal and everyone to be reasonable happy with a score draw.
Middlesbrough V Arsenal
A bad team against a team that is doing badly. All things point to a desert’s worth of shifting sands in the summer but for this one week players will to expend a little more energy and walk away with a win…. blame the manager.
Southampton V Man City
Southampton are safe and Pep needs to ensure that top 4 finish.
Stoke V Hull
Stoke have been disappointing but Hull don’t win away.
Sunderland V West Ham
Many are picking the Moyes Boys team in this game but even if they were giving a 2 goal start it’s hard to see theme winning anything.
Tottenham V Bournemouth
Spurs whacked the Hornets last week and the quality of opposition isn’t much different this week (except they may score).
Watford V Swansea
The Hornets are safe. That’s all that matters.
West Brom V Liverpool
Soon LJ will pick with his team and not against his team! The Baggies will never be short of commitment.
Here are the previous results:
Bit of an appalling week for yours truly. Looking at it positively, no one had a truly great week with only one person getting more than 50% of the results right (they didn’t win but that’s a trend for BE this year that they’ll be looking to reverse as we enter the run in).
This was a better week for me losing only to KMFE who deserves a good result after weeks of disappointment picking Citeh hoping they would always win. I originally thought I had won but I incorrectly had 2-0 for the Hornets result against the boing-boings when I know I intended 2-0. Honesty and integrity moved me from 1st to 2nd.
This week we’re waiting again for JE.
We did get picks from LJ who is in the midst of busy season at work and he assures me he has been studying up to improve his position. He also assures me that both the Hornets and the Reds will get a thrashing this week.
The theme for this week is the defence of each team.
Bournemouth V Chelsea
The Cherries are fairly safe from the drop and Chelsea are fairly safe at the top. I don’t see the Cherries even scoring unless David Luiz starts playing “silly buggers” again. I think that’s the language of Jack Rawlings being inherited. RIP and not forgotten.
Crystal Palace V Arsenal
Palace managed to shock the Arse last week (Oh, Matron!) but despite Arsenal’s defensive failings they should have enough fire-power to overcome.
Everton V Leicester
Everton are not in contention for Europe and Leicester are safe so the game is meaningless… except Lukaku wants to score to increase his value to the off-season suitors (and will) and Leicester are going to rest their players for the Champions League. All of this is irrelevant as I am going to pick 1-1 for all Everton home games moving forward.
Man City V Hull
Citeh are out of the hunt for the league but still fighting for a Champions League spot. Hull put four past a Middlesbrough team in the week and people will probably think that they will put one or two past a Citeh not known for protecting their goal;however, it will be a shut-out for the home team. Aguero and Sane will be enough at the other end.
Middlesbrough V Burnley
Burnley still haven’t won on the road this year so it’s incredible that they’re probably safe (3 points away!). Boro usually play conservatively for a point but the end is nigh and on a weekend when they finally try and score to save their season but will Burnley end it with a loan counter past the bus?
Stoke V Liverpool
Liverpool are inconsistent and should win handily but this week I heard rumors that Stoke had hired equipment to simulate the Reds defense so they should be in with a good shout. Only one player picked against the Scousers this week – LJ… not their greatest cheerleader.
Sunderland V Man Utd
Sunderland are down and Man Utd are undefeated in forever. The Red Devils will not qualify for the CL through the league (they will finish outside the top 4) but they do have a route in via the Europa League. I expect Jose to focus on that unimportant European trophy to save the season.
As someone once said: sometimes the best defence is a shit offence.
Tottenham V Watford
Between injuries and suspensions this may as well be Watford’s formation and Mazzari indicated as much in the week: ” we have no defence now”
New Defensive Formation
Meanwhile Spurs have the best defensive record and one of the top goalkeepers.
I will predict a hammering for the Hornets who are now safe. I’ll be happy if I’m right and happy if I’m wrong.
West Brom V Southampton
West Brom got thumped last week by rampant Harry and his Hornets. This week they take it out on Southampton and get a result.
A stout defence keeps them ahead.
West Ham V Swansea
Both teams are sinking. Could be anyone’s game.
Not all the picks are in (surprise surprise) so a quick run-down tonight with last weeks results to follow soon. Here’s a clue – I’m not eager to post the results because I scored less than half the points of most people as I found myself exactless. I do feel I should get some credit for getting the Arsenal-Citeh game correct.
This week’s rapid sequence of games shows how the league is like West Brom’s penalty area was this week – lots of congestion.
Now that the bad joke of the week is out of the way it’s time for what’s next.
I didn’t say there wouldn’t be more bad jokes.
Arsenal V West Ham
Arsenal were (not) magnificent this week and got a well (not) deserved draw against a (not) stellar defense in Citeh. The win puts them (not) firmly in contention of a Champions League spot and their future is (not) secured with Sanchez and Ozil (not) destined to stay and Wenger (not) committed to a long term deal. West Ham are playing away from home which is an advantage for them but they lack the effort, desire and skill that Arsenal do (not) exude every time they step on the field so it won’t be enough. Arsenal to (not) win easily.
Burnley V Stoke
Burnley take all their points at home. Stoke are struggling. Turf Moor will (not) be in for a sure treat this week as two of the (not) best teams playing (not) the best football in the Premier League fight it out.
Hull V Middlesbrough
Middlesbrough are like an excited artist trying not get relegated (hoping to draw a lot! -the bad jokes keep coming). Hull are in the bottom 3 and looking like they’re in trouble. Boro are below them in the table which puts them in more trouble. A home win will mean Hull ends up like a Bee Gee (Staying Alive! – except they didn’t did they?)… and they will sneak it.
Leicester V Sunderland
The Foxes are back with Mr Shakespeare at the helm. Sunderland are doomed and Moyes won’t even be able to slap his way out of it.
Swansea V Tottenham
Spuds will go all the way to Wales to win.
Watford V West Brom
Watford totally outplayed the Boing-Boings away at the Hawthornes and lost. I do not expect the Hornets to completely outplay the Bromwich this time out but we’re in the top half of the table so it’s not too much to expect two goals is it? So there… Watford will get two goals. That should get them a tie, surely.
Man Utd V Everton
I don’t know why Mourinho was complaining about the level of effort that Luke Shaw shows in practice because it can’t be less than what Pogba shows during games. I put some faith in the Toffees against their mortal enemies and they let me down. They probably will this week too.
Here’s Luke Shaw talking about practice in response to Mourinho:
Chelsea V Man City
Chelsea are top of the table but the gap closed a little this week when they got tripped up by Palace and Spuds won. Citeh failed to take advantage and so this game takes on even more significance as Citeh maintain some hope of a title challenge… they will not win and the hope dies.
Southampton V Crystal Palace
Palace are almost safe. This will not be the week that they get safe.
Liverpool V Bournemouth
Liverpool will not flop with klopp and the kop… that’s the word with a Cherry on top.
As Jimmy Greaves might say,”it’s a Funny Old Game” and that was proved last week when we had one guesser with a measly 4 points and another skilled analytical mind with a huge 20 points! Me? As usual, I was middling around in the middle of nowhere. I’m like the West Brom of pickers.
This week’s picks are in except for LJ. Surprisingly, JE,basking in the glory of his victory is getting confident and picking games two days early and deliberately reliquishing his usual last-minute picking advantage . Unfortunately, it appears that LJ forgot to make his picks (not sure why, perhaps because his performances of late are about on par with Sunderland). Either that, or he’s working on Jamaica Time.
That’s a bit of a stereotype that perhaps I shouldn’t use but I think that everyone appreciates that in reality the only Jamaican time of significance is 9.58.
Anyway, on to the picks.
Liverpool v Everton
Jordie boy is out. Lallana is out. Coutinho and Firmino were only rumored to be out but those injuries should cause Liverpool concern (except I don’t rate Jordan anyway). Everton won’t have Schneiderlin, Funes Mori, McCarthy and others so perhaps it’s Liverpool’s to win. Then again it’s a Derby so the game is up in the air. Except Everton doesn’t win these games. But they have Lukaku so … it can only end in a draw.
Talking of Lukaku, I’ve been told he’s a “specimen” which means he’s from a good gene pool. I don’t know what that really means but here’s a picture that might help.
I’m not sure I understand it but I was told Idris Elba (not a footballer) maybe KMFE can provide insight.
There is some physical similarity with the musculature,I suppose. I’ve also read that Ronaldo has the best physique in football and that just confuses me.
Oh well, let’s get back to scores.
Chelshit v palace
I don’t see Palace really doing much now that they are bumping up against the safety fence. Chelsea, on the other hand, just keep winning. A soulless / goalless palace.
United road v baggies
The boing boings or oingo bongos are just middling along. Safe from relegation and safely avoiding Europa league. The Trafford lads are looking to break into the top 4 but seem to be targetting the EL again. For the same reason as Chelshit above, I predict a United win albeit it less convincing. Of course, unconvincing isn’t so much a prediction when it comes to Man U as it is an expectation – getting that right will not make me the modern Nostradamus.
Leicester Stoke
The corner is officially turned. It turns out that every week the plan drawn up by Ranieri included a sheet where he wrote save your energy and don’t exert. Now that Shakespeare is in place he rubbed that out and put “”Our remedies oft in ourselves do lie, Which we ascribe to Heaven.” and since then Jamie Vardy remembered what his job was (for club and country) and the Foxes have started running. They’ll win but it will be close because they’re still old at the back.
Watford sland
This is a critical game for Sunderland. They need to get 4 or 5 wins to survive and this is, as much as it pains me, one of their best opportunities. Meanwhile Watford have gone from being in no apparent danger to suddenly being relegation fodder. It’s a big like a swimmer in Jaws… minding their own business tread-watering before becoming shark food. Watford have more 2-2 draws than any other result (stated confidently without looking or confirmation) so I expect 2-2 and a moral victory. A point for the moose is better than a point for the black cats. It will be 0-2 at the half and Harry Hornet will threaten the players into action.
Burnley Tottenham
Tough at home vs a Kane-less Spuds. It will be close but the Spurs will sneak in at the near post and take a late victory at Turf Moor.
Hull West Ham
Hull are playing well at home (relatively speaking) and West Ham are acting like nothing really matters. Good opportunity for Hull to get some points but they’ll only get one .
Saints Bournemouth
Saints are punching above their weight. The Cherries are punching above their weight. That should mean the game is close but the Saints are middle-weight and the Cherries are light-weight.
Swans boro
Boro don’t try and score and would seem to be totally willing to go down. They’ll be down 2 before they even realize they need to win. They’ll pull one back because Swansea like to concede (like the French army… ha ha… bad joke)
Arsenal man shirty
I do not see Arsenal dropping any more games that they should win. They shouldn’t win this one. A draw seems fair.