Round 38 – Premier League Picks

Final Guesses

Arsenal V Everton

Arsenal have to win to have a chance at proper European football and they will win but the win will leave them short of Klopp. The season will end with the whiny Liverpool fans (we’re not good enough) whining slightly less than the whiny Arsenal fans (Wenger out! Ozil is lazy…..).  The positive is that both fans get what they want: Champions League football and a new manager respectively. It will be transitional year as ownership is discussed (Kroenke won’t sell) and Sanchez heads out to pastures greener.

Burnley V West Ham

Burnley have been great at home and terrible away.  West Ham have been inconsistently good enough to stay in the Premier league relegation talk.  Burnley will end with a meaningless win that moves them slightly up the table.  West Ham will look for a new manager even though the problem isn’t Bilic but the club.

Chelsea V Sunderland 

Sunderland are going down and it will  be a challenge to bounce back with a manager that hasn’t showed any inspiration since he left.  They’ve shown heart but that’s not enough when the minds and skills are on walkabout.  Chelsea will stroll into the off-season with a win… John Terry will start as a direct invitation to retire already.  Go away, you horrible person.

Hull V Tottenham

Hull will lose Silva to the Hornets and will give a good performance against a team that has left White Hart Lane and the League behind.  Nothing to play for but the future at Spurs seems brighter than it is… next year they will struggle at Wembley to find the same home advantage as the lane.  Expect them to drop to 4th or 5th.

Leicester V Bournemouth

The Foxes will end in the top half after a terrible start but more than anything it proved the two-tier division is has become.  The teams at the top are just far beyond the teams at the bottom… the positions 11-20 are anyone’s on any given year.

Liverpool V Middlesbrough

Liverpool need to win and Boro have nothing to play for but pride.  This should be an easy win but Boro have played tight all year and the Scousers have struggled against the bottom teams more than the top teams.  I don’t expect this to be settled until very late in the game.   Firmino will cement his future status at the club.

Man Utd V Crystal Palace 

The Trafford U-18s against Palace in a meaningless kick-about.  This isn’t your youth squad of the 90s and Palace will win.

Southampton V Stoke

Saints will go marching in to next season with mostly the same squad for  a change (not sure who they have to sell this year).

Swansea V West Brom

The Welsh team will continue to make the English Premier League be an international affair… and they will play the most “English” managed teams in West Brom.  I randomly pick West Brom to win after Swansea come back from the high of staying up. [Edit:  Turns out I randomly picked Swansea to win but the table above formula didn’t copy]

Watford V Man City

The team that plays no defence against the team that has no defense, no manager, and nothing to play for.  I predicted the lowly lowly Hornets would lose their last 6 and they’re on track.The most lop-sided game of the week…..   Citeh, and KMFE,  you’re welcome.

3 Replies to “Round 38 – Premier League Picks”

  1. thanks JCE for a wonderful year of dry wit and humour – and for doing all of this. Looking forward to the final table!

    [ is not your real email :)]

    1. Of course you are looking for the final table…. I thought I nailed the Watford game as the biggest slaughter… then I saw the Hull City score

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