Round 15 2016/2017 – Premier League Picks

Let’s start where we always start which is where we look at the beginning of the end before the end…

Cheeky Time Abuser

So here are the WAGS, sans JE, who will send his updates after drinking tea and cheating.

Wild Ass Guesses

Stoke are slowly creeping up the table and are a tough team to knock off but Sanchez is a small scoring machine and there’s no reason to see the Arse taking any kind of kicking from the Potters. The fact that Shawcross is set to misss out also means that Sanchez  is less likely to taking an arse kicking.  The Gooners will dominate but there’s always a chance that the Swiss Shaqiri could produce a bit of magic.

Both Burnley and Bournemouth are terrible away from home so advantage Burnley.  Bournemouth are riding high on the back of scoring multiple times against a hapless Liverpool defense but Burnley will be a tougher ticket on that end but won’t muster the goals either.   A score draw but 0-0 is just as likely.

Chelsea are on an amazing run getting five W’s preceding their name.  This is no accident. This is the results of winning five games, obvs.  Hazard is on top form and obviously enjoys not having Mourinho around…Costa is scoring and somehow David Luiz is not being tested very much. Citeh could have had 3 or 4 last week before Aguero had a Roy Keane moment…. so they are not infallible but it’s hard to see the Baggies pulling any kind of upset.

Hull are awful and last week I predicted that Alan Pardew would win against Southampton and then get fired losing to Hull.  My heart says Hull will send Pardew to the kerb but my brain says they can’t beat a Palace team that found out how to score ….  kick a ball into an empty net from 2 feet out.

I don’t expect the same gift from Hull but Palace will still be able to pull out the win.

Leicester may repeat the news of last year with the insane odds at the beginning of the season that came true – last year 1500-1 to win the title and this year I’m sure high odds to get relegated but there they are 2 points from the drop and once again we’re all repeating the refrain that their fortunes have to turn around at some point, right?  Not against Citeh even though Aguero decided that he’s been too fit recently and needed a suspension to get some rest instead.  YaYa, who is up for African player of the year after all (?) will outplay Mahrez and cement his win.  Do you ever feel like YaYa is to the African Player of the Year is the football equivalent of Yahya the leader of Gambia and the results are fixed?

Liverpool were the wrong end of a fun game last week and Klopp will respond by keeping Filet Mignonlet on the bench and play Lovren in front of Pre-Karius.   LJ, the big fan of the Reds here, is convinced that the cart-horse (big Andy Carroll) will be playing for the Hammers and rise to the occasion and will head his team to victory.  I don’t see it myself as the Hammers have lost the plot and suffering a number of injuries … while the “normal one” will have had a word with his team.  Last year was a West Ham double so Liverpool will not take this result granted …. or any other after last weeks game.

Pre-Karius …lmfao

Spotted at schools all around the Manchester area were indications that Jose is trying to find a midfield that works.

Missing

I think everyone knows that Paul is not actually missing – he’s just hiding in plain sight with a new hairdo!  Spuds went through a period where they were getting draw after draw.. and Old Toilet seems to enjoy 1-1 games.  Sounds like a good guess to me.   I think the fans are currently looking for a way to make Marouaine Fellatio to disappear.

Southampton and Boro… I saw none of the Boro game (it was a Monday) nor any of the Southampton game but I do believe that it will be a close game – 0-0,1-0,0-1,1-1,2-1,1-2,2-2,2-0,0-2 are results worth taking a bet on.

Sunderland are better than they were and Swansea are awful.  I don’t know what the owners expected from Bradley  as he really has most of his experience coming from national team level.  The Premier League needs more than a motivator and hard-working manager….they need inspiration and a leader that oozes confidence but during interviews he sucks the charisma out of the room.  The team from the North leaves the country and returns a winner.

I really want the Meese to beat the Toffees but they were horrible and rely heavily on Capoue who can’t do it week in and week out.  Hopefully, Ighalo can get some form but I see a scrappy game with Watford taking an early lead and falling back into a  10-0-0 formation.  Somehow Baines on Toast will whip in a ball for Lukaku to equalize.

Here are my bets which you can take if you want to lose money.

*This post was brought to you without any form spell-checking/editing.

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