The Tottenham vs West Ham game has been rescheduled but I will count it towards the round it is in so the round scores will be temporary until complete. I will provide an opportunity to re-submit the prediction at a later time.
The picks are in from a few but not enough to warrant posting them all as I’ve yet to automate the transcribing and formatting of the entries (maybe next year).
This week I will put in a quick game prediction to help those still to pick (or allow those who have a chance to correct theirs). It should be noted that the more thought and detail I put into these picks the worse my score tends to be.
You have been warned!
Only Two Quotables This Week
ME: “I have given spurs a draw but think Pretty will extend their run.. patriotic me thinks!” I agree with the patriotic piece. KMFE went for Citeh for patriotic reasons as well but she’ll be right.
AM: “Toyed with the idea of putting Spurs down for an away win at Man City – a HUGE part of me hopes that my actual prediction is incorrect!” Some of us hope your actual GGMU prediction is incorrect!
ME: “Watford will win if they keep 11 on the pitch.” If you support the Herts Deer team then you cannot be patriotic. I don’t ever know what team will show up. I took a heart based guess this week!
ME: “Stoke desperate for a win and Palace on a roll… I’m hopeful neither will win.I think Arsenal will play better, Newcastle won’t” That’s about the level of my analysis!
Amusing Media I try to usually post something amusing, clever, or funny but I’m a but tired this week and so I just have a question:
Just How bad is Andre Grey that Deeney keeps playing?
This is the opposite of missing a sitter. Saving a sitter (not this year).
Arsenal V Newcastle United
The Arse must be disappointed with their midweek result but they have an opportunity to play a rubbish team and make up for it with a resounding win. Newcastle will score first just to get their away fans hoping for something better than their eventual loss.
Bournemouth V Liverpool
The Scousers must be disappointed with their midweek result but they have an opportunity to play an inconsistent team with a top goal-scorer that was at one point considered good enough for the MLS. Bournemouth will score (because Liverpool don’t have a defense) but the Red Army will score a few more.
Brighton & Hove Albion V Burnley
This one could be 0-0 but I’m not going to write-off 17 of Burnley’s games as good fortune. With an early favorite for Manager of the Year at the helm I see the clarets sneaking another 1 goal win. Not quite Leicester a couple of years ago but pretty soon they will have reached safety and they will have to start talking about the disaster that is qualifying for Europa League (which I shouldn’t say as that led MU to the Champions League this year). It won’t matter anyway, because that spot’s reserved for Spurs.
Chelsea V Southampton
Chelsea had a poor game and it was obvious that they would come back and win comfortably mid-week. With Morata back they should score a few at home. I think it could be a clean sheet but I just always feel Southampton find a way to score.
Everton V Swansea City
Allardyce didn’t fix Everton they weren’t that bad to begin with. He is picking a younger squad with Calvert-Lewin and Kenny though and they’ve tightened up at the back. Against a team that can’t score that is ominous for the Welsh boys.
Leicester City V Crystal Palace
Leicester are back to the old Leicester. Palace are turning the corner. Slight advantage to the home team.
Manchester City V Tottenham Hotspur
Don’t see it any way but a CIteh win. Here’s a memory for the to-be-disappointed Potato Chicken fans.
Stoke City V West Ham United
Watford V Huddersfield Town
Huddersfield aren’t very good and if the Moosemen can keep 11 players they have a chance. But who’s going to score? Time to drop Deeney – he’s too slow, too useless. Time to drop Andre Grey – he’s fast, too useless. Maybe it’s time for Harry to go up front … at least we’d see some cool celebrations.
In fairness, I’d rather see some speed up front and playing Andre more consistently would give him a chance to work with Richarlison.
West Bromwich Albion V Manchester United
The Boing-Boings might be just boinging at this point. Manchester United look decent occasionally but mostly they are surviving on glimpses of skill by different players (Martial scored when I said he was average, Ashley Young scored twice when I said he was not good enough for Watford, Lingard scored when I forgot who he was… and Lukaku spots the net occasionally). This week I predict the whole team will be crap so obviously they’ll sparkle in an easy win to zero.
What happened to that guest post JE? You want me to give you access or what?
The less said the better this week! My worst week evah! I’m finding a striking anti-correlation between how much effort I go into making picks and how well I score. I’m not sure which direction to go yet.
Congratulations to AB who I will start to call Mr YoYo – going from first to last and back again!
Don’t forget your mid-week game picks. Maybe I’ll look for a half-season prize to award. I’ve got some Kraken back here still.
All the picks are in except for LS and LJ. I don’t expect LJ to pick as he’s on his way to Jamaica but am hopefully that LS will make a late appearance. LS is, if you didn’t know, a fan of the Wolverhampton Wanderers so here’s a joke to make light of his current absence:
But here are the current predictions:
Lots of quality picks in here with some really random variations. It seems like no one really has a strong feel for this week with a agreement only coming into play on 5 games.
Huddersfield will clearly lose
Liverpool will not win by 2 goals
Arsenal, Spurs and Chelsea will not win
“This is hard this week” “Tricky” “Found predictions hard”
Thanks for stating the obvious, guys!
“I am contractually obligated to OF COURSE pick Manchester City for the win” Must be tough to have to pick a team that hasn’t lost yet this year. I’m probably technically contracted to pick the Hertfordshire Deer (but I don’t) and AB is not supposed to ever pick Everton (Red fan) but he usually does.
“Man Pretty have the “no Pogma” advantage and Man U may have the “no Silva” advantage.” This is why you should have put your picks in late like usual! Silva seems fit to play ! But you picked them anyway.
“Spuds MUST turn the corner soon!”
The potato chickens will not win the league. You heard it here (not) first.
“back on the bottom on the pile. at least I got a EURO cheer this week.” Yes. For a second I thought there had been success in the Brexit negotiations but then I realized you meant your 7-1 thumping in the week of some other team in Europe. Let’s hope it continues against the Toffees!
This is a big week with two Derby Games. You may have noticed I changed the entry form to show the team mascots. I did this in part because they get along and hopefully this weekends games won’t turn into aggressive free-for-all and end up with some quality football.
Of course in real life things have changed in recent years. Once upon a time these games were classic hard men affairs.
Burnley V Watford Bertie Bee is crazy looking and Harry looks like a weird bear so obviously this is a tie (but a rather late one).
Crystal Palace V Bournemouth Woy’s Boys are improved and the Cherries are inconsistent so let’s give it to the team with the most fans in the stadium.
Huddersfield Town V Brighton & Hove Albion Not often I predict 0-0 but when neither team can score it’s a pretty good guess – I mean prediction.
Liverpool V Everton Everton are a bit better but they are away at Anfield where I’m sure Rooney will nick a wasted goal after Liverpool add to their goal tally.
Manchester United V Manchester City Obligated to not pick the red team to win because in a Manchester derby the team that’s actually in Manchester should really win.
Newcastle United V Leicester City Leicester are better than Newcastle which means that I pick Vardy to score and win, obviously.
Southampton V Arsenal Arsenal were unlucky that DeGea was brilliant and this week Forster will be not quite-as-brilliant and they don’t have a Lingard who’s going to play the best game of his career.
Swansea City V West Bromwich Albion Two bad teams but Alan Pardew will be the difference maker (or so the press will say) as West Brom climb the table for a few weeks before collapsing the second half.
Tottenham Hotspur V Stoke City Mark Hughes needs to be fired and Spurs can’t keep dropping points at home to second-rate teams.
West Ham United V Chelsea Chelsea are tired but a tired Chelsea are better than a useless West Ham and David Moyes will be the difference maker (or so everyone will say).
Here are the picks – just waiting for LJ who probably forgot because I didn’t do my weekly Friday office message reminder.
This week should be a bit better scoring than last week unless the EPL throws in a few surprises.
Quotes of the Week
Thanks for writing in some interesting comments:
From JE: “I want the moose men to win but Tottenham should win again soon shouldn’t they ? Arsenal and united should draw 1-1 (scrolls up and puts in a two for United so we win. Let’s see if that works for me better than it does for you!)”
I too want the deer-men to win but even at home it will be a tough ask against the Spuds. Especially, a potato-chicken team that is going to be looking to make up for lost points over the last weeks. Perhaps MP is focused on the Real Madrid job and we have a chance. I checked the head-to-head and see if that would influence me.
Not a lot of analysis on my part after that.
I think it looks more like a potato-penguin but while searching for this I found a couple of cute pictures (not football related)
I think it’s a duck but given the earlier picture I could try to argue it’s a baby Swansea image.
Then to bring it all back to football
“Watford won’t concede 4 goals again…so I will predict only 3! Spurs can’t be so bad three games on the bounce..please!”
“Lots of tough calls again this week. I may well be bottom again. Good job AM is also predicting as badly!”
To be fair and unbiased in my reporting it should be pointed out that in the prior week, while performing terribly, me AM did score more points than you.
To be more fair and unbiased I should point out that I was equally terrible and also scored more points than you.
And when I say points I mean point.
Not this week. It’s late and last week didn’t work so well after I put in all the detail. I’ll probably post a longer results post instead on Monday or add a fun post this weekend when I’m watching a game.
Just wanted to post the results. It was a bad week for most people but AB led the pack followed by LS and JE. I languished somewhere near the bottom finish above only the super-hapless ME. So much for using all that extra time you were provided!
So we’re in the annoying mid-week phase where I have to come up with posts TWICE a week. Anyone want to be a guest writer? Let’s fill some space with a nice space taking image.
As I’m on my own I guess I should just drop in the picks!
A nice little graphic here will make the page the page seem more filled.
As you can see we’ve got most of the picks in but we’re still waiting for ME, LS, and LJ. I think ME is getting in as much scouting as possible to defeat AM who kindly picked a tie for Watford when I know deep down he’s hoping for the team from just outside of Manchester to beat the team just outside of London. LJ is re-calibrating his methods. It turns out his football nous is too much of a good thing and he is going to rely more on heart than head moving forward. I’m not sure about LS. He’s probably doing something very important or something very interesting or not.
This Weeks Quotables
AM avoids potential “egg on the face” by not selecting the team from Trafford to thrash the Hornet Herfordshire Deer team. JE contributed “I fecking hope we don’t lose to you lot” along with his usually somewhat soppy comments (love you too little bro).
BE claims that “There should be thanksgiving from Arsenal, Man City and Man United ……if you can’t be good, be lucky!” Arsenal were lucky with a dodgy penalty, Manchester United aren’t lucky but have undue influence on referees, and Citeh dominated the game they won. So 1 out of 3 correct which is about her average.
AB claims he has been “overly generous to scouser compatriots” and is thus picking them to lose this week. At home to West Ham might not be the week to try that.
I thought I might mix in some really detailed analysis this week to give you an idea of the thought processes behind some of the picks. I’m expecting everyone to be close this week with everyone scoring within 2-3 points of each other- it’s just a feeling.
Arsenal vs Huddersfield Town Arsenal are flat-track bullies and this is the kind of game they will usually get a decent result from. Huddersfield left it all on the pitch trying to eek out a draw at home against Citeh and so will probably turn in an average display as a result of fatigue and disappointment. Arsenal will dominate possession (70-30) but none of this possession will result in goal scoring attempts as they spend most of the time wandering around between 15-25 yards out trying to figure out how to pass it into the net. Eventually Sanchez will slot home a free goal-pass from about 12 yards after someone breathes too hard on Ozil in the box (67) for another “lucky” penalty. A few minutes later Ozil will dribble one in as Huddersfield collapse into a deep 10-0-1 formation.
Bournemouth vs Burnley
The Cherries are much improved and will take advantage of a raucous home crowd to win. Well, as much as a small team’s fans can muster anyway. The home team will take advantage of a defensive lapse from Burnley and score mid-way through the first half (this analysis is based on me starting a Burnley player in my fantasy team). Burnley will come back with a lucky deflection on a mishit corner in the second half but will ultimately succumb to a rare Joshua King goal in the frenetic final 10 minutes.
Brighton & Hove Albion vs Crystal Palace
Brighton are a tough team to score on but they aren’t going to score more than 1 goal themselves. Crystal Palace were lucky to score in the last minute last week to take a win but this is Woy’s team and if I learned anything from watching him in his time as England manager it’s that Woy’s Boys won’t win two games in a row and they won’t score often (if at all).
Leicester City vs Tottenham Hotspur A tough game for Spurs. Delicatessen Ali has gone off the boil and would have been far more heavily criticized had his name been Pogba but this is part of the long term plan he has to get a move to Man U so that he can win a title (he thinks). Man You will buy him with the cash they raise from sending the overrated Martial of to Real Madrid as part of their overhaul. Leicester will sit back for 69 minutes and launch long searching passes through the middle for Vardy who will eventually score. It will look desperate again for Spurs and Kane will equalize with 5 minutes to go (because someone else will start him as captain in their fantasy team and get double points).
Watford vs Manchester United Jose will setup Manchester United with their common away game setup of playing deep and countering when the chance comes. Of course, they sometimes forget to counter and that might be the case today. Watford will go up early with Andre Gray scoring on a defensive mishap after 5 minutes raising the hopes of all the Hornet’s fans. Watford will then forget to attack which will leave the game in an awkward position with one team trying to counter a non-attacking team. Fellaini will spare Jose his blushes with a long ball elbow-of-god goal in the 8th minute of additional time just like the good old days.
I did go into the future and record the game and this was the surprising interview I saw. Unfortunately, I’ve already locked in my pick but this may help the remaining players mentioned above.
West Bromwich Albion vs Newcastle United I think this game would be better if both team could play in their home kit!Megson seems to have his team in order but they weren’t that bad to begin with so they’ll win but only after the Geordies score a stunning goal.
Newcastle are for sale and inquiries were made this week which is more interesting than this game will be.
The sale may be forced because without an influx of cash the team will be struggling and Rafa has made it clear that he’s not the manager who can work without a huge budget. He was seen last week in the technical area sporting a new scarf that made his point known to Mike Ashley.
Chelsea vs Swansea City
Swansea’s best player is a Chelsea player who is not allowed to play against Chelsea while he’s at Swansea or play for Chelsea because he’s at Swansea (and wouldn’t make the team anyway). No deep analysis on this game: at three seemingly random times Chelsea will score – probably a brace by Hazard and another by Morata (because he’s on the opposition’s fantasy team as well).
Everton vs West Ham United 3-2 Everton will be better this week and are playing a West Ham team who might be better than their position. I see Everton winning but because they let in a lot of goals they’re going to have to score 3 from somewhere – Niasse will score two of them in the first half. Whoever it is that takes Everton penalties (Baines?) will score the third in the second half after the Hammers fight back with Lanzini and Kouyate scoring.
Sam Allardyce will see this game, think Everton are alright and good enough to stay up without any effort, take the job, collect some paper bags with money in it and watch them get all the way up to 5th from bottom, call it job well done, retire to an island vacation to wait for the next desperate team.
Rinse and Repeat.
Manchester City vs Southampton The analysis for this game is simple: Kevin De Bruyne.
Stoke City vs Liverpool I discussed this game at length with LJ and we both decided that the game could be 1-3 to the scouse army. Jordan Henderson will antagonize the Liverpool loyals by scoring a cracking goal that once again means he won’t be dropped for a while (despite him being mostly useless). So Jordan puts them up 1-0 and Coutinho will make it 2-0 from a free kick under the wall.
To keep it interesting, Maxim Choupo-Moting will cut the deficit in half.
I originally also had Firmino and Mane fighting over who would score the third from the penalty spot deciding, ultimately, that Firmino would take it, miss it, and let Mane get the rebound. That was when I thought the game was at Anfield and that a Kop-end penalty would be a given – away that penalty doesn’t happen. Away from home it will just end as Klopp predicts.
There you have it.
All the picks and all the detail.