Round 06 2017/18 – “”Hopefully no fairy story for Gareth Barry …..”

This feels a little like the past … the clock is ticking … and we are waiting for one lone party to pick

JE Time

[Edit: JE finally picked early Saturday!].

Everyone’s Picks Are In

So about a week ago I got a lovely e-mail from the people at the Premier League.

The Results Brilliant Football Mind

I didn’t even realize that there were prizes and as such I thought this might be spam so I logged in to my account and checked. This is what I saw:

Six Points short of the highest score of the week! If only I had played my triple points card!

So I ranked 14, that sounds pretty good!  I wonder out of how many that is ….

100 points short! If only I had a Completely Different Team

Turns out that the week before I was ranked about 4, 336,219 places lower!  Not random at all.

Well on to the picks for the week.  It was a terrible week last week predicting and that was with the advantage of knowing the result from Friday!

Arsenal V West Bromwich Albion

Today’s guest comment “Hopefully no fairy story for Gareth Barry …..”.  Chased by Arsenal a few years back Gazza is about to set a Premier League record for appearances overtaking another guy that you may have heard of.  I predict Danny Welbeck  is hurt and Ozil will be lazy.. but Arsenal will still win this one.

Barry – 632 Games and Counting
Ryan – Could Only Manage 632 Games

Brighton & Hove Albion V Newcastle United

Hughton will have set his stall out to gain points against the bottom tier teams (I know Newcastle fans *think* they’re a big team but they’re not).  Newcastle have won a few on the bonk but all runs come to an end and a tie seems inevitable.

Burnley V Huddersfield Town

Last year Burnley won everything at home and lost everything away.  This year it’s going to take a few games to figure out who they are.  Huddersfield are a low scoring and will sit for a draw.  I expect this to be 0-0 but might predict 1-1 because I want to see a couple of goals (and choices affect outcomes).

Everton V Bournemouth

Everton are a bit all over the place.  Bournemouth have been rubbish.  All over the place trumps rubbish.

Leicester City V Liverpool

Vardy is back and always scores 2 against Liverpool.  Liverpool don’t defend so add another to that 2.  Probably enough to hold off a scouse team that tries to outscore the opposition.

Manchester City V Crystal Palace

Everyone is expecting a lot of goals which is hardly surprising when the teams have combined for 11 in their last 2 games.  The route is on!

Southampton V Manchester United

I’m still not sold on Manchester United.  Expect it to be tight again with team from near Manchester getting a late goal to seal a wholly undeserved victory.

Stoke City V Chelsea

I always seem to think Stoke are worse than they are.  I also got into a habit of thinking Chelsea were worse than they are. I’m left with no choice but to pick the least worst team.

Swansea City V Watford

Hard game to pick and when that happens you go with the Bingo call.

Watford to get a Point Away? Quackers!

West Ham United V Tottenham Hotspur

Spurs will win.  Bilic will be fired.


Next week I’ll post a puzzle update – ooooh, how exciting!

Round 05 2017/2018 – Premier League Results

This week was a bad week for yours truly – started with an exact pick of Bournemouth at home to Brighton (as did many) and then it was truly downhill.

But the week was actually far worse for me.

Not only did I have to watch the Citeh put 6 (six) past the Hornets, I also got to hear how “My picks suck” , “I’m doing badly this week”, “I’ve only got one exact score so far” from KMFE as I got pick after pick wrong and slowly got to realize I was being pounded.  Luckily for me, AM had another dire week !

What you should remember is that it doesn’t matter if you didn’t pick Burnley to draw with Liverpool because no one did!  In fact, the only person who picked Burnley was Liverpool super-fan LJ.   Seriously, what kind of a fan are you?  You’re worse than Carragher!

2nd Worst Liverpool Fan

But on to the results for the week.  For those who don’t think there’s randomness to this it should be noted that ML is Mark Lawrenson the expert picker and former Liverpool player.   He didn’t pick Burnley to win because he’s not blinded by his fan insecurity!


The My first picks were not bad but I ended up with some last minute changes that did me in.  Time to do what this week’s winner BE and runner-up KMFE did and just go with my gut and guess!  Let’s see how that goes this week.

But seriously… Congratulations on being this week’s winner and runner-up.

New Entry Form available.

Round 05 2017/18 – Premier League Picks

OIt’s only week five and already we’ve hit on what I will call the stupid schedule.. games played on a seemingly random schedule. Speaking of random, here are this weeks mix of numbers.

Random Number Generator

I don’t have a theme this week and I’m a but tired after the stressful couple of weeks so just a bog-standard summary this week.

Bournemouth vs Brighton & Hove Albion
This game is an easy pick. It’s a 2-1 pick all day long every day – especially every day after the game has been played.  A number of us already got a jump on the leader board though with the popular pick.

Chelsea vs Arsenal
Almost a unanimous decision provided here.  It’s hard to know if that’s respect for Chelsea or disrespect for the flat track bully that is Arsenal.  I’m tempted to pick an upset here as one of the key factors cited in Chelsea’s advantage is that Gary Cahill is fit.  Well,he’s in the Top 5 overrated players in English football – slow, not poised, and looks uncomfortable on the ball.

More Comfortable on the Ball than Cahill

Will be a strange atmosphere due to the increased police presence after the Parsons Green tube.

Crystal Palace vs Southampton
Woy’s Boys are back.  If he can accomplish with Palace what he did with England, we should expect Palace to finish in the top half of the table knowing they will fail to live up to their potential. I dub their new manager  “Welegation Woy”.

Huddersfield Town vs Leicester City
It’s hard to know what Leicester is this year – almost beat Arsenal (doesn’t prove much), beat Brighton (doesn’t prove they’re good) and lost to United and Chelsea (doesn’t prove they’re bad).  I suppose an away win at Huddersfield who are seemingly tough to break down might go some way to convince us they deserve more their current position.  The current news is whether Silva is a Leicester player or not having filed the final paperwork 14 seconds late – Sporting Lisbon want their cash either way.  You could argue with FIFA over what 14 seconds could mean but quite a lot can happen in that amount of time:

Liverpool vs Burnley
It’s hard to know what Liverpool is this year – almost beat Watford (doesn’t prove much), beat Arsenal and Cwystal Palace (doesn’t prove they’re good) and lost to Citeh and Chelsea (doesn’t prove they’re bad).  I read that Pre-Karius will be in goal because nothing is better behind a weak defense than a weak goalkeeper.  Klopp going for the gung-ho style of football.

Manchester United vs Everton
First time I’ve ever rooted for Rooney to score at the Old Toilet.  Will be the first time I’m disappointed that he hasn’t.

Newcastle United vs Stoke City
Newcastle fans always think they’re bigger than they are and a couple of wins later they actually believe they are.  Wrong on both counts.

Tottenham Hotspur vs Swansea City
Spuds “will hope Hurri-Kane can blast in another couple of goals”  [that joke from BE].  Swansea sounded like a Spuds midfielder last week (Dier) so Spurs should manage another win at “home”.

Watford vs Manchester City
Unanimous this one. Watford lose. Citeh win.  No arguments here.

West Bromwich Albion vs West Ham United
The boing-boings disappointed last week and West Ham grabbed a win.  Anything might happen but it will be so much more fun if Bilic gets fired.

Round 04 2017/2018 – Premier League Results

How quickly things can change.  In less time than it takes a hurricane to move from East Florida to West Florida a winner can turn to a loser and a loser can turn to a winner.

Winners and Losers

Our double winner, Mr AM, dropped faster than the air pressure in a hurricane and LS went higher than flood waters in a bad storm.

This week the most controversial incident was one that resulted in Liverpool getting thrashed and rekindling of that age-old debate at whether accidental decapitation should be a red card or not.

Mane Not Fouling Anyone

I will post an aggregate table next week.  And finally, congrats to BE for not coming last!

Round 04 2017/2018 – Premier League Picks

As a curiousity, I thought I would share the table of our average picks.  This provides some insight into who we collectively under and overrate.  I’m just glad to see that I’m not the only one who thought Crystal Palace would be better.

I don’t know how often I will post this but it’s available on request if you want it.  I also have it per user and it’s a little useful guide to see mistakes you are making if for example you have Manchester United P18 W18 D0 L0 GF44 GA8… which isn’t too far off what JE had after 18 games last year.


Average Table


But on to the picks which are a bit all over the place this week.  Could be interesting to see who makes a move…. will ME finally outscore AM?  Let’s see.  Game on.

Wild Ass Guesses

Arsenal v Bournemouth

Bad start for both teams and it will get worse for one… and not enough better to meaningful for the other team’s fans.  Arsenal fans need to start getting used to cheering home games against crummy opposition.  Flat track bullies.

Brighton & Hove Albion v West Bromwich Albion

Three goals between them so far but that stat is flattering to Brighton.  Can’t see a team going four games without a goal and I can’t see a team losing to someone who can’t score.

Burnley v Crystal Palace

Burnley were decent at home all last year so it’s not unrealistic to see them win.  It’s not unrealistic to see Palace lose either.

Everton v Tottenham Hotspur

A win will make a change for Spurs and maybe kick-start their season (which to date has been fairly meh).  A new logo needed perhaps?


New Home Logo

Leicester City v Chelsea

Not the team they were last year.  Either of them.  I have on idea who valued Drinkwater at the price he went for but he might start and be totally average against his former team.

Manchester City v Liverpool

My head says that I shouldn’t pick the Tactical One over the Normal One but at the Etihad a loss would be a minor disaster and that shouldn’t happen.

Southampton v Watford

So JE picked 0-0.  This week the moose will keep 11 on the field so the game will be a little more interesting.

Stoke City v Manchester United

Will be another game that’s dull and boring for 80 mins before United score two quick goals.

Swansea City v Newcastle United

After the highs of their large win two weeks ago come the lows of not beating a Welsh team.

West Ham United v Huddersfield Town

The Hammers have an international goalkeeper but they shouldn’t rely on him as he’s about as mobile as Bert.

Less Stiff Than Joe Hart

Don’t see the Hammers losing this one even though I feel like they are a


Round 03 2017/2018 – Premier League Results

Keeping the results posts short and sweet this week and with some early analysis on the season.

Looks like AM is on an early roll and following the exploits of his team (GGMU) with a second consecutive week at the top of the table with three exact scores (thanks to my solid advice on picking 0-0 for the Watford game against Brighton).  I made another solid outing getting the fewest wrong again.  I do not know what to say about poor LS who managed to get EIGHT games wrong.  Ouch!

Some of us Guess Better than Others

I am producing an average pick table which I think provides some interesting early analysis.  This table shows the table as it would be if our average predictions were the actual results.  I produce the same for every person and can post them any time you are interested in seeing that level of detail.

Average Table (you can click on it to see it)


Manchester United (A)
Listening to the commentators the title is all but over. Jose wins everything in his second year before leaving the team behind in a mess.
Good Times

Liverpool (A)
Quality opening day draw against the Hornets followed by two mediocre wins including one against Arsenal puts them as a potential league favorite.
Deadline day signings and lack of signings (Coutinho) bode well.

Huddersfield Town (A+)
Champions league beckons because Wagner is trained by Klopp and that means awesome things.

Manchester City (B)
Pep’s total approach to football is so advanced we expect it will take another year or two for the players to understand what he wants.

West Bromwich Albion (B+)
Tony Pulis’ team has started well as they always do. No one knows how other than his approach to football is so simple that it takes only a day or two for the players to understand what he wants.

Chelsea (B)
Diego Costa is not in the plans but even with their most annoying player gone they are still the most annoying team.

Watford (B)
Strategically exiting the Milk Cup to focus on the league was a good decision. Expect them to do the same with the FA Cup

Southampton (B-)
A decent start to the season means that it’s definitely reasonable to consider selling the top talent so expect Virgil to go to the scousers.

Tottenham Hotspur (D-)
Wembley is not a good place for Spuds,unfortunately they have 17 more games to play there.

Stoke City (C)
Mark Hughes is one of those managers that you wonder how he still has a job. I’ll let you ponder that too.

Burnley (B)
They sell their best player and have 4 points from Spuds, and Chelsea and everything looks great… but a home loss to West Brom means what? Have fun predicting this team.

Everton (C)
Looks like Rooney has found himself a new home. He also retired from International football which is fortunate as it coincides with him no longer being picked. Phew.

Swansea City (C)
The team managed by the most French person from Reading ever are lucky to be in the English Premier League (because they’re Welsh!) but they should be able to move on after Gylfi Sigurdsson finally left and they have structure to their team. What’s that? Hazard says that Llorente is going to Chelsea? Where will Batshit Batshuayi play?

Newcastle United (C)
Rafa has allegedly achieved “god-like” status on Tyneside. I don’t know if that means he’s Kevin Keegan, Alan Shearer, or Paul Gascoigne. I do know it’s hyperbole, which isn’t unusual for fans who are convinced they are one of the biggest teams in the country.

Leicester City (B)
This Leicester is better than last year’s Leicester and this year’s Vardy is better than last year’s Vardy. My biggest hope is that they are so average even Gary Lineker is lost for words.

Arsenal (D-)
Arsenal are at the arse end of the table and the arse end of the Arsene career.

Brighton & Hove Albion (D)
I remember Norman Whiteside ruining their dreams so many years ago. Wonder where he is? Wherever it is I’m sure he’s surprised where Brighton are. I don’t think anyone is surprised that they haven’t scored yet – Chris Hughton is no doubt proud of the effort.

Bournemouth (D-)
Not the best start to the year. Could be a long and hard season if they don’t sort it out quick smart. Not sure what to make of the team – they have talent moving forward but clearly losing to Watford makes them bad.

Crystal Palace (D-)
I thought Palace would be better this year. Call me an idiot.

West Ham United (F-)
Remember Aston Villa a couple of years back? Decent team that wouldn’t go down and just started badly turned team that continued badly and might go down and ended up team that was bad and went down? Now re-read that and replace one claret and blue team for another.

Remember – this week is an International Break so we get to see Malta take a thumping (you’d assume).



Round 03 2017/2018 – Premier League Picks

The Entry Form – The Error

A couple of you caught the slight error on the form in that caused your score predictions guesses to be emailed against last weeks games.  So the first game this week  is Bournemouth taking on Citeh… and the email showed your scores against for last week’s first game: Bournemouth against Watford.

I noticed when people had Watford scoring 3 or 5 goals.  Silva may be more attack minded that Mazzari but they aren’t scoring 5 any time soon.

The Entry Form – What I Miss

While the form is more efficient, easier, and keeps people’s peeping eyes of other’s predictions guesses I do miss the good old days of trying to enter hand written photos and  remembering the 80s when bands were bands and everyone was wearing short shorts.

George and Andrew take on United.
They wear short shorts

Back then…everyone wore short shorts….

He wears really short shorts

The Entry Form – What I Miss Part II

JE likes to make up team names.  I miss that.  I’ll have to think about how he can continue to incorporate his personality into the entries – I’ve tried to play along.

The Entry Form – Comments and Some Responses

Some people actually write comments.   Please do.  I really do like this and I will respond to the comments.

This weeks pick of the comments:

“Miss writing man shitty.”
I know you do.   But you got to write it in the comment so you didn’t really miss it at all did you.

“Mum likes romelu. Lol.”
I used to like him more.

“How was mark lanegan?”
I think we’re getting off topic but his voice appears to be working a lot better than his body.  Drugs, unlike milk, do not do a body good.

“Wouldn’t be surprised if the Hornets lose”
An image response for this one:

Going out on a Limb There.

“This weeks results will be [his picks]”
Last week’s winner getting a little cocky writing this with his picks !  Slightly taken out of context 🙂

The Picks

No late picks this week.  Everything on time just like the great British train service.  So…just a quick run through.

Wild Ass Guesses

Bournemouth V Manchester City
Lost at home to the Mighty Moose of St Albans and everyone writes you off… 0-3,0-5 at home?  Shitty (that’s for your JE) will win but it won’t be comfortable at all.  Did everyone miss the game where they salvaged a draw against Everton?

Chelsea V Everton
Everton are decent but I don’t see Rooney scoring three weeks in a row and Chelsea aren’t as bad as their opening game nightmare.

Crystal Palace V Swansea City
Two lower half teams.  It hasn’t been a factor in recent years but Selhurst park is loud and will give the Eagles and edge and let them defeat the Swans.  It’s not a must win but the Palace manager Frank de Boer has called it a must win.
If it’s a must win they must win.

Huddersfield Town V Southampton
Huddersfield averaged under a goal a game and play a possession heavy game.  This worked against Newcastle (barely) but this week they will fail to score and the Saints will slip in a late winner.

Liverpool V Arsenal
Everyone wants to believe Liverpool are better than they are and that Arsenal are better than they are….so everyone is hedging a draw.  Arsenal will give it a good run but will end up losers in a back and forth affair.

Giroud comes on the field and for once is not the worst haircut playing…until Firmino goes to the bench at least.   Jason Lee, we miss you.

Manchester United V Leicester City
The key moment in recent memory for Leicester was a 5-3 win over the Red Devils.  It would be really nice if they could repeat that feat but it won’t happen.  The foxes are a better team this year than last and aren’t distracted by the Champions League…  Lukaku will probably score a hattrick and take his shirt off for BE.

Newcastle United V West Ham United
West Ham.Are.Rubbish.

Tottenham Hotspur V Burnley
“Hopefully Spurs second away home game will be a better result!”   Where there’s hope there’s a way.

Watford V Brighton & Hove Albion
Easy win for the Moosemen now that we extricated ourselves from the Milk, Coca Cola Rumbelows Littlewoods League Cup.  Should be a thriller with Brighton holding out for a 0-0 draw against a  team no

West Bromwich Albion V Stoke City

If any game screams a draw this one is it. Reminds me of when I picked the Baggies as 1-0 every game.

Round 02 2017/2018 – Premier League Results

A few form mishaps here and there on the forms but they should work much better this week*.

Week 3 Entry forms:
Current Entry
Current Entry (JE Styley)

The final predictions as they were at kick-off.

Final Guesses

And here are the results.

Final Results

First Things First (or Last)

If you’re looking to beat the current champion, JE, then you will be happy to find out that he’s human after all.  After winning last week he dropped down the rankings and finished dead last – this position is also known as “tied-with-BE”.

Game within a Game

Mr AM joined this week with the sole purpose (I believe) of beating ME and he succeeded with an impressive tied for first place.  Using rules that I make up on the fly I would say that I beat him via the “Alt”ernative point system; however, if I were to do that I would start hearing and argument on AB on how he finished out of the top spot despite having the highest score!

Winning is Everything

Bournemouth V Watford
I hate the dreaded six-pointer designation to matches because they’re always applied over Christmas or during the run-in when the same points are available early on.   While this isn’t a six-pointer it is 3 points Watford added and 3 points Bournemouth didn’t.  A home loss this early doesn’t bode well for the season but an away win means that Watford will secure safety before we collapse and fire our manager.

Burnley V West Bromwich Albion

Not sure how West Brom do it… but they aren’t boing boing’ing between divisions.  Burnley amassed all their points at home last year and struggled away – will this year be different.  Guess it already is.

Huddersfield Town V Newcastle United
Always going to be tight but Newcastle are a team that will continue to believe they are bigger than they are.

Leicester City V Brighton & Hove Albion
Memo for Chris Hughton: nice guys finish last or get fired.
Leicester are not going to be Champions but are in no danger of going down with their current team.

Liverpool V Crystal Palace
It seems that Liverpool value Coutinho in the region of 1 Billion.   That would provide adequate cash to buy Lovren a one way ticket out of town.

Manchester City V Everton
I get the feeling sometimes that Pep is a kid with toy many toys….  I think he’s trying to run his train on a scalextric track.   (This analogy may not work for young people or non-European….. replace it with throwing pool balls at a dart board…. or using a toy in a manner it is not equipped for).
Rooney’s proving he’s past it.

Southampton V West Ham United
West Ham are going to lose a good manager pretty soon.

Stoke City V Arsenal
Arsenal appear to be trying to emulate Arsenal.

Swansea City V Manchester United
Another 4-0.  Another week anointing them Champions.  *Yawn*

Tottenham Hotspur V Chelsea
Wembley is not a home game.  It’s a game at a non-filled stadium on a pitch famous for producing poor performances (go England!)  Spurs will continue to struggle this year with tiredness – playing a press on a giant field is hard….


*Unless you use a phone to live your life.  Find a real PC or send them to me via email.  I plan to move from a table to CSS to remove this impediment soon.

Round 01 2017/2018 – Premier League Results

Surprisingly, the results are following a trend pattern similar to the end of last year:  I’m getting more picks correct in terms of results but again failing to capitalize on the exact score bonus points leaving me mid-table, JE setting the pace, and BE continuing the slide backwards.

LJ who professes that those who know the most about football are destined to fail due to their propensity to over-think and over-analyze is once again proving that rule.

New players LS and AB put in a respectable showing and all in all it was a decent opening week with no standout poor and no standout great tallies.

So congrats to JE for a solid round and me for winning a category I just made up (most correct results).

Week 1 Results

A quick summary of some key events:

Chelsea had a disaster start losing two men and the game… I’m surprised they didn’t lose their keys.  For once, Diego Costa was not the talking point.

F-U I won’t do what you tell me….but not to blame

Newcastle had a losing start when their game featured Jonjo Shelvey return to his very best form and added to his philatelic collection.

Watford snatched a draw from the jaws of defeat with a goal that was onside in the dying seconds.  It was onside because it wasn’t offside.  When I say it wasn’t offside I mean it wasn’t called offside.

Manchester United were crowned Champions by the TV punditry and Lukaku and Matic co-players of the year.  This despite the fact that they beat a terrible West Ham team at home and two meaningless goals at the end don’t make a 4-0 result dominating.

Rooney went back to the team he supported as a young boy and scored.