Round 16 2017/18 – Quick Picks

All the picks are in except for LS and LJ.  I don’t expect LJ to pick as he’s on his way to Jamaica but am hopefully that LS will make a late appearance.  LS is, if you didn’t know, a fan of the Wolverhampton Wanderers so here’s a joke to make light of his current absence:

Wandering …..

But here are the current predictions:

Guessy Guessy

Lots of quality picks in here with some really random variations.  It seems like no one really has a strong feel for this week with a agreement only coming into play on 5 games.

  • Huddersfield will clearly lose
  • Liverpool will not win by 2 goals
  • Arsenal, Spurs and Chelsea will not win

Weekly Quotes

“This is hard this week”
“Found predictions hard”

Thanks for stating the obvious, guys!

“I am contractually obligated to OF COURSE pick Manchester City for the win”
Must be tough to have to pick a team that hasn’t lost yet this year.  I’m probably technically contracted to pick the Hertfordshire Deer (but I don’t) and AB is not supposed to ever pick Everton (Red fan) but he usually does.

“Man Pretty have the “no Pogma” advantage and Man U may have the “no Silva” advantage.”
This is why you should have put your picks in late like usual!  Silva seems fit to play !  But you picked them anyway.

“Spuds MUST turn the corner soon!”
The potato chickens will not win the league.  You heard it here (not) first.

“back on the bottom on the pile. at least I got a EURO cheer this week.”
Yes. For a second I thought there had been success in the Brexit negotiations but then I realized you meant your 7-1 thumping in the week of some other team in Europe.  Let’s hope it continues against the Toffees!


This is a big week with two Derby Games.  You may have noticed I changed the entry form to show the team mascots.  I did this in part because they get along and hopefully this weekends games won’t turn into aggressive free-for-all and end up with some quality football.

Aliens and Devil Friends
Ee Up Me Mate We’s Playin’ Ent Wee!

Of course in real life things have changed in recent years.  Once upon a time these games were classic hard men affairs.

“You’re Soft In the Head Duncan”
“Well You’re a Sweety… all Soft in the Middle Mr Ruddock.”

One-Line Analysis

Burnley V Watford
Bertie Bee is crazy looking and Harry looks like a weird bear so obviously this is a tie (but a rather late one).

Crystal Palace V Bournemouth
Woy’s Boys are improved and the Cherries are inconsistent so let’s give it to the team with the most fans in the stadium.

Huddersfield Town V Brighton & Hove Albion
Not often I predict 0-0 but when neither team can score it’s a pretty good guess – I mean prediction.

Liverpool V Everton
Everton are a bit better but they are away at Anfield where I’m sure Rooney will nick a wasted goal after Liverpool add to their goal tally.

Manchester United V Manchester City
Obligated to not pick the red team to win because in a Manchester derby the team that’s actually in Manchester should really win.

Newcastle United V Leicester City
Leicester are better than Newcastle which means that I pick Vardy to score and win, obviously.

Southampton V Arsenal
Arsenal were unlucky that DeGea was brilliant and this week Forster will be not quite-as-brilliant and they don’t have a Lingard who’s going to play the best game of his career.

Swansea City V West Bromwich Albion
Two bad teams but Alan Pardew will be the difference maker (or so the press will say) as West Brom climb the table for a few weeks before collapsing the second half.

Tottenham Hotspur V Stoke City
Mark Hughes needs to be fired and Spurs can’t keep dropping points at home to second-rate teams.

West Ham United V Chelsea
Chelsea are tired but a tired Chelsea are better than a useless West Ham and David Moyes will be the difference maker (or so everyone will say).

Round 15 2017/18 – Results and Fuzzies

So the results are in and after a brilliant start where it looked like I might win I dropped off and fell to second place after a spirited come-back by BE.

Look Who’s Back To Last!

Unfortunately, LJ was not able to make his picks due for personal reasons.  I don’t think he’ll be playing this week either.

Don’t forget to make your picks this week.

I’ve created a slightly different look and feel this week for the form.  Here’s an introduction to the new look.  This is the least viewed video I’ve ever featured on this site.

Round 13 2017/18 – Thanksgiving Week Results

Here are the results:

Weekly Leaders

I was half way through a long post but I was distracted by Black Friday and the  opportunity to get a new hosting provider (via a Coupon).  It’s taken me most of the day to migrate the site and get all my email up to date so the post went to the wayside.  I’ll try and add it in the next couple of days – it was moderately amusing but somewhat “Thanksgivingy” so might not work out-of-US-Holiday context.

This week saw a big jump for LS and a sad sad tie for last between AM and ME -what a battle that is turning out to be !

Please remember to make your picks for Tuesday and Wednesday

Round 13 2017/18 – Thanksgiving Week

Everyone got their picks in and here they are:

Thanks For Randomness

This Weeks Quotes

Some contributions this week some seem to be an excuse for not fulfilling the promise of last year’s success with a recent mediocre run:

JE – “I have no idea about results this season. I do know that i got a good result by blagging me DM tickets! X”

Here’s one that they didn’t play – time to get the season back in gear:

I also get the banter of two arch-nemesis who should really directly antagonize each other:

ME – “I have deliberately predicted incorrect results this week to give AM a better chance! … From your team pictures it looks like Man Utd could poop over the Gulls! ”

AM- “All I’ve done in the past few weeks is take my foot off the gas just to wait for old ME to catch up! ”  “PS – ‘Old Toilet’ my arse!!”

Well head-to-head score is as follows (to ruin the suspense):

Looks Who’s Ahead!

Seems that one is winning by points but not head-to-head.  I’m sure I could call it a tie but the rules are that ME is winning!

The Game Summaries

Burnley V Arsenal
Arsenal have 18 of their 22 points at home and they are playing at Turf Moor where Burnley are actually capable of getting results this year.   Should be a close game and end with honors shared.  I want to make this 1-1 but I put 2-2 and it’s too late to change it and upload it again.  I therefore declare that the last few minutes will end in a chaotic pair of offsetting goals in time added on.

Crystal Palace V Stoke City
I think that Palace will go down but I really think that Mark Hughes should be fired so that settles that.  Palace for the win with Benteke scoring because I took him out of my fantasy team and replaced him with a goat.  Or not.

Huddersfield Town V Manchester City
Huddersfield will try and keep this a goalless affair.  Not going to happen.

Liverpool V Chelsea
So everyone thinks that Liverpool are going to lose because they let in three goals against Sevilla in the week.  Do I need to point out that they didn’t lose? This is Anfield and Mane Salah will score a hattrick to put them up 3-0.  Chelsea will score, of course.  This is my pick and is part of what I call fantasy football.  Reality football is that Jordan Henderson is playing and he’s rubbish so Chelsea probably won’t lose.

Was Merse  Drinking Again Last Year?

Manchester United V Brighton & Hove Albion 
Fellaini will score when the Red Devils revert to the long-ball and end up 1-0.  That’s what my brain said but then I realized that they’ve scored 4 goals every time they play at Old Toilet.  Brighton won’t score.  That makes 4-0 the going prediction.  So three of us will either be disappointed or happy with the number of goals.

Newcastle United V Watford
Watford are brilliant and have the best manager in the world – or so the press would have you think.  They’re average just like their opposition so I’m going to go for the old stand-by of 2-2 for the Moosemen though the players may deliberately lose to keep Silva around.

Southampton V Everton
Everton have an interim scape-goat in Unsworth and I don’t think he can be too excited at the prospect of continuing his managerial status at Everton as it’s definitely destroying his resume.  Another loss as Southampton manage to eek a goal out of something.  This deserves a 0-0.

Swansea City V Bournemouth
The Cherries are better than Swansea.  The picks seem to bear this out overall. End of discussion.

Tottenham Hotspur V West Bromwich Albion
West Brom would get a new manager bump but they have a caretaker manager in Gary Megson and are actually looking to take Alan Pardew.  I think I would have kept the old-boy Tony Pulis.  Mr P let it be known he’s in charge by basically telling Danny Rose to sit down and shut up… though he’s thinking of moving to Real Madrid if Zidane gets the boot.  Interestingly, I just read Four-Four-Two that called Zidane the best manager in the world.  Funny ole game that Spurs will win.

West Ham United V Leicester City
West Ham are playing at home and will be looking to play better than they did last week against Watford (I missed most of the game after Andy “Elbows” Carroll tried to knock-out half the opposition).  David Moyes is their manager so it’s hard to see how they will ever play better.  Close game which Leicester should win but probably won’t.

Signing off.   Preparing my analysis for next week… you can already get your picks in.  Hopefully this will give me more time to write something amusing or that makes sense.


Round 12 2017/18 – Results

So the results are in and one lucky beggar managed to mess up only one pick – Spurs vs Arsenal…. how this ended up being an Arsenal win I’ll never know.

Weekly Winners

So JCE (that’s me that is) scored a whopping 15 points this week.
In the head-to-head stakes that matter Mr ME finished tied second-from-bottom and still managed to finish ahead of Mr AM.

As a guide for future picks, here are the current overrated and underrated tables.  From this table it’s got some clear markers and advice built in.

Average Table

Don’t forget the first game is on FRIDAY so Get Yer Picks In

Also,feel free to email me on any theme or subject for discussion.  After a few years of doing this I’m running out of ideas!   I may have to go back to how this started with my lunatic pre-game commentary – things have gotten serious recently.

Round 08 2017/2018 – Premier League “Puzzle Week”

This past week I completed the 3000 piece Football History puzzle and I thought it would be interesting to share some of the details over the course of the next few posts.  This is basically an admission that coming up with ideas to write about is quite hard and having pretty pictures is a cop-out.

Puzzle Complete

This puzzle comes from Roundhead Illustration and it’s quite fun and produced by a fan off the Hertfordshire Deer team North of the South and South of the North (Watford).  It definitely has a bias for those who were there when football became the new professional in the 1990’s and also has a little more Hornets than one would think belongs in a History of Football… I don’t think I’m alone in thinking that the Luther Blissett  doesn’t stand up in historical terms to the Kippax, Stretford End, Spion Kop, the Clock End,  might bhave been better served as more significant English stands.  I’m sure Europe or South America have other stands I’ve never heard of that are more famous than the LB stand.

Here are the picks:


Brighton & Hove Albion vs Everton
Everton have really got off to a bit of a slow start.  Ronald Koeman was backed by the chairman this week so I would fully expect another loss to end in another salad type incident.

Et Tu Crouton!

[Explanation: It’s a Caesar salad being stabbed in the back].
Brighton aren’t a good team and Chris Hughton seems like the nicest manager in the Premier League.  Maybe they hand Everton the win or maybe they just aren’t capable of scoring.  Either way, Ronald survives another week.

Burnley vs West Ham United
West Ham are still not good and they are 1 point away from home bad.  Burnley are reversing last years trend by being better away than at home and I see that trend continuing with a poor home performance.  A key player is back in Lanzini and while no one player makes a team, one player can make a team better and so a draw is a fair result.

Crystal Palace vs Chelsea
Palace might never score.  Chelsea certainly won’t let them.  A walk in the park.  A gentle stroll in the country. An afternoon nap.  More or less a day off for the Blues.
I expect this to be so boring that it won’t need any commentary  [Link courtesy of AB]

Leicester City vs West Bromwich Albion
Despite me thinking Leicester are better than they were last year their position speaks otherwise.  WBA are the normal inconsistent team that grafts random results that they always seem to be.  It’s not the biggest rivalry of the week but I expect the teams to get a little chippy.

Liverpool vs Manchester United
Liverpool are at home.
Manchester United are a better team.
Liverpool are free scoring.
Jose Mourinho knows how to setup a defense.
Man United will always score at least one.
Coutinho knows how to hit free kicks under the wall.

Final score 1-1.

Of course, we would love it someone beat them…. GGMU is getting old 🙂

I’d Love It

Manchester City vs Stoke City
It’s hard to see a team scoring 5 goals every week struggling to beat a team that’s not good travelling.

Southampton vs Newcastle United
Southampton are proving once again you can get some results even with a team that gets reset every year.  Newcastle won a couple on the bounce but they’re a bottom six team.

Swansea City vs Huddersfield Town
Getting late so the summary is getting shorter…. this could be 0-0 or any other combination of something-0.  I simply don’t see Huddersfield scoring.  I’ll give Swansea 1 and let’s make it an o.g. for grins.

Tottenham Hotspur vs Bournemouth
One of the witty comments for the week:

Dad supports spurs.
Dad loves spurs.
He is blinded by his love of spurs.
Spurs are **** apart from Rose, Kane and Dele.
Who will be at old Trafford……

This was based on the discussion that last year ME had the ridiculous prediction that Spuds won 37 of 38 games and won the league by a margin.  He picked them again this week and this week he’ll be right…. unless the Wembley jinx is real… the Spurs team again Lithuania was terrible!

Watford vs Arsenal
Watford started well but Chalobah is out and news I was previously unaware of came in the form of another entry form witty….

“Isaac “no” Success just can’t score even when paying for the privilege…”

Nice one ME. Double entendre complete with a dig at his achievements at Vicarage Road.  Well Played.
Arsenal, the gunners with a big cannon, will easily dispatch the Moose.

A final note to “AM” – I’m sure your picks will beat ONE of the “E”s.  Finishing behind all of us would be embarrassing 🙂

Round 07 2017/18 – Results “Black Jack”

This was a high scoring week (for some of us). Things were looking close on Saturday but a crazy set of Sunday results moved BE to the top of the pack.
There was a fairly big score this week….let’s see if you can guess what it was without looking.

A Good Hand

Maybe that wasn’t enough of a clue.  Maybe this is….

A Good Player

Twenty one points!  This is the highest score of the year and a high water mark for everyone to shoot for.  It is a lot but I should still point out that this is still four points short of the ridiculous total put up by KMFE last year that stands as the record since we started making picks 3 years or so ago.

Weekly Leaders

As mentioned, last year 25 points put KMFE to the top of the overall charts – a position from which she slowly fell.  This year, 21 points has put BE firmly at the top of the charts but we’ve been here before. It is from the top last year at the half-way point of the season that she started the magnificent slide from first to last suffering the kind of second half collapse we would expect from Watford. So don’t give up hope if you find yourself last Livi.  My advice:  Stop picking against Liverpool!

Aggregate Scores

Looks to me like the new members [LS, AB] are struggling while the experienced players [BE,JCE,ME,JE] are hanging out at the top.  LJ is an experienced player who continues to lose and live by his mantra “I think knowing football is actually a hindrance”.

Next week a quick summary of who these initialisms actually are!

Entry Form for Week 8

Round 06 2017/18 – Results “Gareth Barry…didn’t win…nor did LJ”

Here are this weeks results in a high scoring week.  Pretty straightforward post – no post game analysis this week.

Weekly Leader


Poor LJ…. bottom of the pack again.

Poor Poor LJ


Here are the leaders overall.  I will figure out how to adjust AM’s scores as he didn’t pick week 1.  He really only cares about his head-to-head with ME so I will publish that in due course.

Aggregate Leaders

Here is our collective average table – how the table would look if our average scores were true [as of last week *sigh* will post it again next week updated for week 7]

Collective Genius?


Entry form is up