Most of the picks are in – remember that you can always change your mind up until kick-off.
AB’s Fun Factoid
Unfortunately, we don’t have one this week. So the question is – who is the youngest player to score in the Premier League?
Clue 1: It wasn’t Jason Dozzell who scored for Ipswich against Coventry at age 16 years and 57 days
Clue 2: He did it playing for Everton.
Clue 3: It’s not who you thought after reading Clue 2.
This Week’s Comments
LJ: “Ambitious prediction for the Reds game but I’m sticking with it”
No one knows these days with the Reds – sometimes they look like they can score at will. Can you imagine if they had two Mo’s?
JE: “I can’t believe I’m picking a United win again.” To be fair, they are playing Burnley
ME: “Arsenal will improve on their form and put Cardiff to the sword…maybe I’m still thinking about the team from a few years ago!!” Spoken like a true Spuds fan.
ME:”Watford’s run will come to end…hope I don’t have to eat my words!” Really spoken like a true potato chicken fan. Hope you’re wrong!
KMFE:”Shakhtar, Lyon and Hoffenheim?! If you’d asked me, I wouldn’t have even thought any of them were in the Champions League. ”
You’ll need the easy teams without Kev. Bit easier than the Liverpool group with PSG, Belgrade, and Napoli!
AA:”Last week. I actually tried to make educated-esque choices. It may have been my worst result”
First lesson you will learn is that the more you know about football the worse you will perform. This explains LJs performance week after week and year after year (or so he insists!)
BE: “Today I’m going for the 4-4-2 system. Four home wins, four aways and two draws……but not necessarily in the right order. Before JE says it….not necessarily all the right results either!” I thought I would post the referenced link.
This Week’s Summary
Due to the fact that I randomly selected numbers this week I don’t have any real analysis to share.
So the results are in with BE declared the weekly victor. Once again I am in the upper table but once again I’m not making any headway. Given that my season usually goes like the Hornet Moosemen (establish early lead and then falter over Christmas) it’s not looking good for the year already.
I do have to thank Watford for handing me a tidy exacter and with 9 points on the board… about 22.5% of the way to safety.
Dishonorable honorable mention this week. After my write up I got a note from an AM with respect to his picking Spurs for the win:
“No good. . . .HAD to change it – couldn’t live with myself, regardless of the outcome.”
Clearly, I was premature on stating that he was maturing as a picker as he succumbed to the siren of former glories.
In the week he pointed out that he had won how many league trophies?
When asked how many were at the team that has net spent 300 Million GBP (despite them not backing him) he use his fingers to count again:
Perhaps it’s time to say goodbye.
This year the “Alan Pardew Project” is putting Mourinho on the early favorite list for the chopping block… he should be looking over his shoulder for potential replacements.
As always, predictions aren’t locked in until the first kick-off.
Happy to see so many updated their picks early. Still waiting for a couple.
This Week’s Comments
I do not publish all the comments so don’t be offended if yours are not included. I will be adding a new special segment to posts though called AB’s Fun Factoid.
AM: “Gone & done the unthinkable – United for a home defeat!!” It’s only unthinkable to a United fan. The rest of us have often picked United for a home loss – the lack of bias shows you are maturing as a picker. I also hope you’re right!
BE: “Arsenal have proved they can actually get the ball in the net if they can create enough scoring opportunities. Here’s hoping they hammer in a few goals.” You would hope that if you create scoring chances you would get the ball in the net – last week saw multiple misses from inside 6 yards. Probably said more about Chelski than Arsenal but big win is needed this week.
ME: “Resorted to guesswork this week!”
Isn’t that every week week? I should pass on your weekly analysis to AM… so he can laugh at you as he looks at who’s behind him.
AA: “Only partly random this week. Hope is there for Wolves. Faint hope, but hope nonetheless.” I was only kidding when I said we’d respect you for picking wolves 💖.
LJ:”Hornets on a roll; let’s keep it going.”
This week has been all about Harry Hornet doing his Zaha impression. I’d rather focus on his happy dance.
Of course, I would be amused if he added a Neymar roll to his dive.
KMFE:”Thinking we should add in some Scottish Prem — it appears Stevie G has wired together a squad that never loses… A million Scousers cry that he didn’t learn this as a player…” Ouch.. let’s hope they don’t slip up a the end though. Interestingly, they decided there was no room at the Inn for the Glasgow teams in the English league. I guess Swansea, Cardiff, and Wrexham were lucky to get in when they did.
Bonus points for anyone who can add in the comments three other Welsh teams in the English League without cheating. AM- Any clues?
AB’s Fun Factoid
Soccer developed in London’s famed Newgate Prison in the early 1800s. Prisoners who had their hands cut off for crimes of theft came up with a sport that used only the feet.
Bournemouth vs Everton
Seems everyone is on the Everton bandwagon already but I don’t see Richarlison scoring every week and everyone has too quickly fallen off the Bournemouth bandwagon.
Arsenal vs West Ham
No idea what Emery is trying to do – he wants to play a high press but in that style of play Ozil doesn’t work (literally). HenrikhMkh doesn’t really fit the system either and he insists on Auba being stuck up front. Maybe he’ll switch things up – put Ramsey back. They need a win.
Fulham vs Burnley Think I’ll save time and do a few with pictures.
Huddersfield vs Cardiff
Liverpool vs Brighton
Man United vs Tottenham
How will Spuds do at Old Toilet? I recommend that they don’t let Lloris park the bus! United will find a way to not lose – it’s what they do in big games.
Newcastle vs Chelsea Chelsea have had a week to remind Kante that’s he’s not a goalscorer. Expect it tighter at the back.
Southampton vs Leicester
Watford vs Crystal Palace
Watford are on a roll. Crystal Palace are too. Which team will crack first? Woy is pwaying mind games so maybe that indicates a lack of confidence. Should be a close game but Watford might nick it if Zaha stays standing.
Wolves vs Man City One plucky picker picked an upset! They’ve also mentioned a number of times that Neves should be kicking for the Eagles. I’m not sure that would work but who knows what the future holds – we had an Australian Rules punter for a while (and he was good).
I’ve included the 2 Supercomputer picks in the totals this week. A quick rundown of what that means:
SC1 picked 2-1 every game this week due to a severe lack of blockchain big analytics data cloud coding framework skills.
SC2 is a top secret algorithm (that won the whole thing in 2016 and was near the top last year) that I will eventually use to deplete the coffers of whatever gambling site sponsors my least favorite team. It’s not a bad picker.
This week BB – self described legend of randomness – found himself at the top of the mountain. LJ deserved better for picking the Hornets to win. AA moved herself up from the basement! LS hopefully had a better birthday week than his picks – and judging by the food he normally gets shoveled in his direction by Masterchef finalists I’m sure that to be the case.
Tragically, ME is already falling well behind AM who after two solid weeks finds himself top of the class.
I will also note that I mocked AM for his seemingly ridiculous pick of 5-0 for Citeh over Huddersfield – which ended up with 2 points for the 6-1 pounding it was!
Forms for the next two weeks are up so no excuses – I will take the last entry before kick-off of the first game.
AB: Can you name a [current of former] professional Football player with medical degree & PhD in Philosophy?
I would have to spend a lot of time thinking about this. My first guess was Sturridge after all his hospital stays….. but that’s only half the criteria. My second guess was Ian Holloway because only a true philosopher could come up with deep quotes like “‘If I fell in a barrel of boobs, I’d come out sucking my thumb! “, but again, only half.
I had to cheat. If anyone wants to know the answer, guess in the comments and I will tell you if you are correct.
KMFE:I’ve got nothing much to say this week, as I am still deeply in mourning for Kevin’s knee. Bernardo Silva, give me everything you’ve got. Obrigado ;-)…
I’m not sure what Citeh are going to do now. They have such a small squad and busy schedule. They also didn’t sign very many players in the Summer window that could really replace KDB. Oh wait, that’s Mourinho, not Pep.
ME: Lots of analysis [I usually ignore ;)]. AM didn’t get too far ahead of ME and my form will gradually improve. AM will slip up!
Tempting fate this week Mr ME!
LJ:Picking the Hornets, as Burnley should be a bit tired after their mid-week exertions. Hope I don’t jinx your Hornets
You also picked Liverpool. Hope you didn’t jink the mighty reds! Watford will be ok, we only need 37 more points for safety. We’re about 7.5% safe!
This week I’ve chosen to do a match analysis -something that usually backfires.
Brighton v Man United
This game is really about who has the best hand-brake. I believe that the ball will be kicked off and each team will set back in a defensive position and leave the ball in the middle of the park. After watching nothing happen for 89 minutes, Luke Shaw will go forward and pick up the ball and go upfield to try and score. Mourinho will bench him next week for going out of position.
Burnley v Watford
Burnley are playing in Europa League and won midweek with a clean sheet. It’s not inconceivable that they will keep another clean sheet despite being tired. But last week Watford played Graham Taylor football – four-four-two (who does that now?) and keep the ball in the other half. There’s something I admire about the style – the other team can’t score from the other half with a good goalkeeper like Foster can they?
This could actually be a good game. Too close to call.
Cardiff v Newcastle
I don’t really like Newcastle. On that basis alone I’m pulling for a point for the Welsh boys.
Chelsea v Arsenal
Are we overrating Chelsea after one result? Yes, I just don’t think they are that good. I’m already reading about how Kante is relishing his new role going forward like he’s the new Eden Hazard or something. I don’t think so.
Have we lowered expectations on Arsenal after one result? Perhaps. They were outplayed by Citeh but they looked much better when Lacazette was on the field. If Emery doesn’t start him this week then we’re looking at Moyes 2.0.
Crystal Palace v Liverpool
Palace looked good last week. Palace have a small stadium with loud fans. Liverpool are the media darlings – well they play exciting attacking football so why not. This is my upset special pick. That basically is a throwaway statement that allows me to say “told you so” and score all kind of kudos if Palace wins and shrug if they don’t.
Everton v Southampton
As a Watford fan I will not comment on Silva except to say I don’t like him and I hope they lose. They won’t.
Leicester v Wolves
I think everyone wants Leicester to be a lot worse without Mahrez but they looked lively for periods last week and Vardy is committed to the cause. Maddison is useful and they finally upgraded their defense (got rid of the older players who still were living off their Champions contribution). Wolves look to play attractive football and this is the game I have picked to actually watch.
Hoping Wolves win to give LS a good birthday weekend.
Man City v Huddersfield
Even without KDB they will win to zero.
Tottenham v Fulham
Is this at Wembley? Is Kane burnt out? This is my other upset special pick.
West Ham v Bournemouth
I don’t like West Ham and I hope they lose. They won’t
This will be the first year that I haven’t jumped out to an early lead but I blame that on others having some good gue
I will endeavor to get results up a bit quicker than this in the future. I’m actually considering building a site to make this a bit more self-service (i.e automatically calculate results) but that’s not something I expect to see soon. I have to learn a programming language, a framework and figure out how to even do it!
Congrats to AM who managed to pip ME who had a decent start… and congrats to LS who really should do better than his effort last year. I was disappointed to see that he reneged on picking Wolves 4-0 each week.
Week 2 is available for picks – I will get about 5 weeks worth up there this weekend. I’ll try post a game summary on tomorrow – can’t promise as I’m trying to finish a jigsaw puzzle! (because I’m old).
Thank you to everyone who took the time to pick this week – I know some of you have more important things going on in your life.
Weekly Comments AM: Think I’ll start preparing my speech right now! Good luck for the new season everyone (Especially ME).
The gauntlet has been thrown down:
BE: With no form available for this season, I will have to rely on luck instead of detailed analysis and deeply considered predictions
You’ve finished first and second. There’s no one believing this hustle, this rope-a-dope. The most important thing is that you don’t let ME copy you and get an unfair advantage over AM! The gauntlet is at stake.
KMFE: I miss you already, Stoke — now who do I pick on with weekly 1-1 draws? You might want to consider Watford for your draws. No offensive capability with pretty decent goalkeeping. You’re welcome.
KMFE: Also, a shame West Brom has to get relegated to get that snazzy boiler as mascot action going…
Here is the linky goodness. No idea this was happening. I’m happy to get Wolfy though. Always a soft spot for Wolves. Here’s a gratuitous Wolves mascot for-the-ladies
ME: Spuds have failed to buy/sell anyone…
Apparently, Poch is blaming Brexit. Apparently, Brexit impacts only the N17 post code because Arsenal, Chelsea, Everton, Watford, Citeh, Liverpool, etc. All picked up European players. They’ll be ok – same Top 4 finish, probably.
ME:Looks like the same top 4 or 5 will be the same this year. I would have hoped you would have aspirations of doing better!
LS: Put me down for 0-0s across each match x Will do.
JE: Tricky!!! It always is.
More to come. Bit late today. I’m going to work on getting the entry form a little better. Analysis on all Premier League teams coming up!
Today was the Community Shield which I didn’t watch because it’s not on the regular television. I did spend some time looking for “Charity Shield” and I couldn’t find anything. When did they rename it? They renamed it in 2002!
I’ve been calling this trophy the wrong thing for as long as it takes to get a baby to the age of consent (in England). Wow. At least I don’t call the Coca-Cola Cup the Milk Cup anymore. (That’s a joke).
So looking at a 2-0 scoreline in favor of Man City I think I can say that they have made a good start with Aguero getting one of those victories he can’t see to get many of when paired with Messi. I’m presuming that Kevin was great, Sterling missed a few, Pep was pleased with the first step of the process and that Chelsea weren’t bad just because Conte was the manager.
So where are we.
Optional Task 1
Download this spreadsheet and enter your picks for the season. I will be able to compare your actual vs pre-season. I’ve done this for a couple of seasons now and it’s no surprise that your pre-season self loses quite handily to your actual self but it’s fun to see where you were. I will create your Premier League table and make some comments.
Complete it and email it to me at jce @ In off the jumper . com
Enter your picks for Week 1 and 2. I’m going to see if I can make automation improvements but for now it’s the same basic system as before: pick your initials, set some scores and add an interesting comment.
So there are a few more games this week thrown in on a Tuesday.
This week there are a few critical games.
At the Bottom Somewhere West Brom fans are hoping for a Leicester miracle but it’s unlikely that Swansea and Southampton will play to a draw and then both lose their final game. The Boing-Boings will lose the spring in their step sooner or later and have to hope they can Boing their way back up next year.
There is still a chance that Huddersfield could be relegated. They end the season against Chelsea (who really want to win) and Arsenal (who will be sending off Arsene) so are staring two defeats in a row. If I were them I would be hoping for Southampton inflicting a heavy defeat on the Swans. The EPL would finally be truly the EPL by losing the Welsh… but then Cardiff is waiting in the wings! I don’t care but why call it the EPL? Will Gerrard get Rangers promoted to the EPL – or will he just get his ex-gaffer’s job.
At the Top
It’s a done deal for Citeh but they are still two wins from the triple digit points so will be looking to score more goals than they did against Huddersfield.
It’s getting tight with (scraping wins) Chelsea team and (stuttering) Spurs team still able to leapfrog Liverpool into the Top 4. There is something romantic about winning the Champions League without ever actually being a Champion and not qualifying for the next year’s CL.
Harry Kane has gone a little cold and will be praying for a few crucial goals.
In Other News
In other (good) news, SAF is up and talking about his results after suffering a brain hemorrhage. No word on whether he has given any nurses the hair dryer treatment yet. It’s nice to see some of the managerial acrimony put on pause for a change.
Also Wenger won a mini-league trophy!
Wenger managed his last game at home.
Everyone seems to think he was forced out (he was) and everyone seems to think he’ll manage somewhere else (he’s hungry)…. but it’s hard to re-dedicate yourself to someone else after you’ve given your life to them. It’s not like he’s had a bit of Monaco on the side… or had a mistress in Marseille. Let’s see if the Arse cock this up by bringing in an unqualified former player in the hopes of former glory. Arteta – he’s been an assistant, he’ll do. At least they don’t have the grand Moyesy succession plan!
Sorry that I won’t be using all your comments this week – I do read each and every one of them. There is also a comment option on each post if you’re interested in that (assuming you’ve read this far – I don’t have any evidence of that because I don’t use any tracking software).
I will use one though AM: “Nothing can Possibly go wrong!!” You got that prediction wrong! 1-0?